the girl who buys lies

• she smiles
  the girl who buys lies
  the lies she tells herself
  to stop hating the flaws
  like walls
  closing in
  every time she stops and thinks
  about thinking
  and what she really is
  and is becoming
  thank you dad
  mom
  and the lies others tell
  to get inside her pants
  or else to mock her
  even though she knows the difference
  she just doesn't care
  her hair it weeps
  and oh her body sings
  a sad song
  even as she weeps
  tears falling like brown hair
  over shoulders
  evaporate
  then nothing
  remembered
  the next day comes
  are you still here --
  the one who told me lies
  i could only believe
  because i wanted to believe?
  i could believe in anything
  sell me lies
  i am buying lies
  hook line and sinker
  and i know
  and i understand
  i am not stupid enough to buy your lies
  but i need to buy lies
  so just f**k me now
  so i can hate myself even more
  at least until tomorrow
  when the sight of you sickens
  but the thought of me sickens
  even more