sleepwalking

like a weary trucker
whose eyes weigh heavy
like burdens
on shoulders
i used to sleep
deep
for counting sheep
or so many white lines
spread without end
across the million miles of thoughts
that were never bound
for any destination
at least
nothing in particular
nowhere you could ever know
i used to be so scared
but now i'm not so sure
i used to turn pages of days
the way the sun comes up
then down
up
and down
and on
and on
and now that they are in motion
i can't stop a thing
i roll down the car window
to arm-wrestle the passing wind
as we speed by
meaningless
mile markers
as life speeds by
poke my head out
yell
"world, shut your mouth"
i used to dream
i used to laugh
i used to fight
i used to scream
then laugh
scream
hide
seek
laugh
i used to run
but now
i only exist