for now and for always

and in the end
as the body writhes
"water"
eyes bulge
to scream out
what your voice cannot
"water"
you f*ck*rs
the new age music
relentless
like endless lines
on a body lived in
near died in
gasp in
space
space
gasp out
like seizures
no beauty
skin
bones
surrounded by guilt
and guilty parties
the usual suspects
united only in our guilt
waiting
well
we're waiting
and i can't get it out of my head
the queer surrealism of the scene
like in French literature
nothing is real
new age
over and over
no age
an endless litany
a false background
plastic bedsheets
mourners yet praying for the end
no suffering
ease the pain
ours?
f*ck*ng ours?
breathe
gasp
seize
the spaces in between
growing longer and longer
gasping for something
but nothing is there
don't give him water
f*ck*rs
no arms to hold you
deride
no air
no smiles
a world screaming in pain
another joyless life
memories shatter
scatter
forget
let go
stop
and i can't get it out of my head
still thinking of me
even as you die
oh,
hello there
death
i feel you...
around me
for now and for always....