every new year

the waves
like years
roll deeper ashore
then recede
like strength
like will
until you must depend
on that which you've sewn
more and more
with every new year
how can a man
take stock over what he's done
for all the holes
every new year
like the last
only more and more
deeper and deeper
the ones cast aside
for all the best intentions
now motionless
in shallow graves
the day logic died
a thousand torturous times
for the sake of the days
became years
like waves
you surrendered autonomy
responsiblity
conviction
unto the ones you thought you loved
the only ones who could ever come close
to loving you
the way you needed to be loved
not love
no
not love
it was convenience
and you said so
love the ones you're with
let the rest
go to fucking hell
it was you
who knew no better
every new year
deeper and deeper
farther and farther away
from the heart
and its slow dance
behind the beat
to the step of a life
lived
in thought
with heart
yes
but at least
with heart

strange fruit

apples
from the tree
outside the gates
of elizium
we bit off less
than we could chew
it meant nothing
real
in a world sheltered
by hands too busy
and tired
to make it real
breathe in
the solution
deeper
the solvent
then rise and shine
a little dimmer
by the hour
by the years
roller skate circles
around
the hot blooded
until the fever slows
you
levels
knocks you down a little further
makes you powerless
lifeless
even
in a heap
like fallen apples
scattered far from trees
still dense
across the fields
lying
like a woman
on a couch
with a migraine
if she is there at all
imagine
a day
your actions
bear fruit

jeux sans frontiers

cue the music
dim the lights
to darkness
scatter the children
to their dream worlds
to disengage
from living
from others
from feeling
anything
in the far right corner
of a sofa
in a barely living room
raise your right arm
then fold it down
across your eyes
closed
then open them
to pure consciousness
forged only of memories
the places you've been
the hugs of a mother
laughter of brothers
in the faces of sisters
in far away lands
the things you could've been
if only you had conviction
father
hide me away
from the ones who won't love
me
father
oh father
make this all go
away
and so your dreams
made real
games
made real
to occupy the places
where others live
don't dream
engage
don't play
and so stare
at the closed eyelids
behind folded right arms
and behold the children
like their father
dreaming lives away
cue the music
live the music
breathe it
until the end
live
here we go again
like waves

and cheering madly

sit in line
chase the tales
of other men
in books
you can stomach
if you find the time
sit in rows
to believe
in something
man-made
you can stomach
if you'll speak in tongues
embrace nonsense
anything other than real
watch tigers chase tails
going nowhere
again
watch
from beer-drenched rows
like waves
to do waves
beckoned by other men
over beers
under the influence
of something
you never wanted
or never knew how to catch
release
sweat out the whole world
in perspiration
the inspiration's gone
let it out
sweat out time
you'd otherwise spend thinking
what you should be thinking about
you know
the things
and people
who'll soon be leaving
the ones who still remain
the reasons
the whys
and the path
without direction
the road
unlaid
and so better
to sit in rows
beer-drenched
not thinking
on thinking
and cheering madly

i'm on the side of good, how the f*ck about you?

cat springs off
counter top
to oblivion
open jaws
death's steely embrace
say when
say uncle
give
give?
everything
black cat
bad luck
gouge the eyes
of superior mothers
mothers superior
dumb dogs
get kicked
get shit
rubbed on your nose
eat it
like chocolate
mmmmm
delicious
gouge away
give
everything
uncle
uncle
you know things
about nothing
and nobody cares
and nobody knows
this is nowhere
yes
the wide open
waiting
jaws
of sickness
inevitable
like a greasy part
right down the middle
of your fucking scalp
swoop
swoop
oh yes
there it is
mutha
fucka