every new year

the waves
like years
roll deeper ashore
then recede
like strength
like will
until you must depend
on that which you've sewn
more and more
with every new year
how can a man
take stock over what he's done
for all the holes
every new year
like the last
only more and more
deeper and deeper
the ones cast aside
for all the best intentions
now motionless
in shallow graves
the day logic died
a thousand torturous times
for the sake of the days
became years
like waves
you surrendered autonomy
responsiblity
conviction
unto the ones you thought you loved
the only ones who could ever come close
to loving you
the way you needed to be loved
not love
no
not love
it was convenience
and you said so
love the ones you're with
let the rest
go to fucking hell
it was you
who knew no better
every new year
deeper and deeper
farther and farther away
from the heart
and its slow dance
behind the beat
to the step of a life
lived
in thought
with heart
yes
but at least
with heart