cowards

on the eve
of the last dawn
you nervously pace
may as well be miles
from the birth of the child
try and save face
for the start
of the end
the loss of you
the start of him
and you just know it
you always told them so
as you smile
not through the cloud
of cigarette smoke
in the lobby of others
likewise expecting
dare you say dreading
the inevitable
but in the doorway
halfway between the beginning
and the end
you are smiling
for a memory
when you were the child
all eyes were on you
and you could just be
the shit
you always knew
but others were too slow
to know
what you knew
until now
the eve of the dawn
on which you would be exposed
curtains open
spotlight
cheers
the new father
the old boy
one
and the same
but now revealed
naked
flawed
still clutching
for the dark
as the baby screams
and the lobby of men
applaud
it is not them
yet