find your smile

did she see the way
her smile died?
did she?
did she care once
about the way people saw her
before the joy
that was her greatest disguise
gave way to memory
gave way to forgetting
and all the wine?
and all the wine
could never bring you back
to the place
you became lost
in the first place.
you stopped wondering
why
the further you distanced yourself
from yourself;
why
you never knew yourself
well enough
to live a life that was yours.
oh the joy
oh the memories
you never had...
whom to blame;
take the fall
for a life unlived?

If you stop asking questions, the answers will die

the catalyst of our demise
lies far behind your eyes
is there feeling
is there still feeling
floating in between the frames
of old photographs
that serve as the closest thing to memories
we've got left
here i am
a cloud
on the verge of imminent extinction
aren't we all
losing something
in a world of self-involved men
too deluded to know that wins
are the flip sides of losing
and victories are illusions
clouds
that come and go
and so they are of no consequence
in the face
of the ones you love