suffer no more

when words
no longer conceal
the acid
bitter
and sad
that are your trinity
unholy
you look way down below
to think
can you do it this time
do you have it
deep down within
to spare you the laughing
open mouths
dismayed
by your cruelty
unkind things you say
arms flailing madly
head starts
to smoke
then spin
like a top
the sun in your eyes
all eyes on you
or so you think
(you always do)
fingers pointing
invisible hands reaching out
to save your children
suffer them no more
and as you seethe
you realize
even in your rage
you have no purpose
you have no reason
no justification
no north
and so there is nothing
in your hands
to offer
other than your hands themselves
around which cuffs
are better suited
needed
to sustain the man
the host of the enmity
the enemy within
to protect them all
suffer them no more
god save them
yes

years ago

she blew
smoke rings
not to dazzle
those gathered there
to worship her exquisite form
over shoulders
of the ones they are with
but just because
she left her cellphone
at home
and felt obliged
to look occupied
aloof
to her solitude
inner turmoil
in some other way
the worshippers preyed
upon her
with eyes
boastful
ridiculous
chatter
like monkeys
high fives
oooh oooh
aaah aaah
ha ha
ho ho
the only things she hears
as she wonders why
she even comes here
year after year
to torture herself
in this way
how the tears have long dried
in the desert of her emptiness
how her fears
have overcome
her essence
like waves over shorelines
ever since
her love died
in this
the very place
she agreed to marry
those years ago.

into the laughing

ha ha ha
comes the voice
from the closet
it isn't pretend
how could it be
cries the boy
he hears it
like he hears
the wind scrape branches against his window
or the sound of footsteps
engulf his shadow
then devour it a little more
everywhere he goes
i am haunted
he screams
why is someone
something
laughing at me
and why is no one here
doing anything to stop it
the noise
the ridicule
the evil
and the fear that ensues
he yells back
into the laughing
finger pointing
his parents to the closet
when he turns
to see
his parents in the closet
laughing
ha ha ha
laughing
at his beliefs
that together
they could ever protect
ever serve
because together
was ever
a myth.

stranger

give it up
in a hammock
close your eyes
the hell with the world....
'til the clouds come rolling in
again
to block the sun;
ruin your moment.
you could have been happy
you could have been beautiful
seventeen again
if only the sun
could be left alone
to steal the day
from today
leave you be....
but it's not the clouds
and the sun
it is you
stranger
so estranged from yourself
that leaves you limp
in a hammock
lifeless
seeking life in reverie.
so this
here ...
the distance
between you
and yourself
is to blame.
still there is nothing
in your blackberry
nothing
in your iphone
nothing
to remind you
of your appointment
so long overdue
with yourself
and your obligations
the ones that really matter;
the ones about which you care
a little less
every day
like passing clouds.
another one goes down
the horizon....

words mean things

get it out
all of it
cough
spit
are you okay?
i don't care
i'm just being polite
for appearances sake.
just because i know
right from wrong
doesn't mean
i buy into choosing right.
when i do
it is only because
i am selfish
and think always
of myself;
what i can gain
by my choices
on those rare occasions
when i actually make choices.
words mean things
and so i bite off the clips
then toss grenades
hoping the shrapnel
of so many words
that mean nothing
may amount to something
not because i care
but because i know
you do
and i kind of figure
i should throw you a bone
every now and then
to get what i want
somewhere down the road.
words mean things
so i despise hearing them
i stare at lips
instead
are you lipless
untrustworthy?
do you speak with your hands
to further obfuscate
meaning?
do you spit
as you speak?
should i mention
you are now
spitting at my face
in your excitement
to get across
your meaningless ideas
through your lipless mouth
giving thanks
to me
for saving you.
should i mention
it was really nothing;
it was really nothing
you wouldn't have done yourself
if the tables were turned?
words mean things
and so i am a liar....