years ago

she blew
smoke rings
not to dazzle
those gathered there
to worship her exquisite form
over shoulders
of the ones they are with
but just because
she left her cellphone
at home
and felt obliged
to look occupied
aloof
to her solitude
inner turmoil
in some other way
the worshippers preyed
upon her
with eyes
boastful
ridiculous
chatter
like monkeys
high fives
oooh oooh
aaah aaah
ha ha
ho ho
the only things she hears
as she wonders why
she even comes here
year after year
to torture herself
in this way
how the tears have long dried
in the desert of her emptiness
how her fears
have overcome
her essence
like waves over shorelines
ever since
her love died
in this
the very place
she agreed to marry
those years ago.