the violent hour

her dreams
in a trickle
out the corner
of her mouth
sleep may take her
places
where reality is stretched
but it is never broken
the inevitable reflection
will steal her glance
sneer
"you are you
with nowhere to run"
here comes her man
again
the one to ignore her
lost in his thoughts
that never amount to anything.
the thought on a friend
who never calls anymore
"life gets in the way"
says the friend
and "i know you understand"
but she doesn't want to
she never wanted
to give in
she just got sucked
hard
and down so low
she can't get out.
it's only age
flushing down behind her
rushing down to take her
further and further away
from all hope
all that was held
sacred
by her years as a child
her apprenticeship
that turned out to be her life
her only life
that amounted to anything.
she coughs
doesn't cover her mouth
f*ck it
she spits phlegm
into her pre-arranged plot
in the cemetary
you know
the place beneath the neon sign
"where memories rest in peace"
even if she'd sooner die
than remember
any of this.