come out where ever you are....

you would come out
from inside your head
if the world outside
was any more genuine
than the world within.
you play the game
of living well enough
to win acceptance
despite yourself
and you look well enough
to win advances
but you can't decide
what you despise more
the fact these things matter
or that you even play such games.
you are in a crowded room
and there is so much noise
music
laughing
drinking
eyes dancing from one body
to the next
like a whore inside a head
and you want to die
well, if not to die
then not to exist
if there is a difference.
these men are talking
these men are animals
these men feel like they matter
as though their lives depend on it
and you
you just can't understand
why you can't feel like them
even if you tried
not play any games at all
lose consciousness of your actions
become one with the essence of you
you
want to feel something
anything
as one
and not you
scattered
like the stars.